Love Letters Of A Narcissist - Volume 3
In case you've forgotten, I'm sharing these so called "love letters" from my journals to shed light & open eyes to what these "affectionate gestures" really are! Eight years with a narcissist has given me quite a collection - and I'm sure this is only a fraction of them.
In this post, I'm sharing a series of love notes that my NarcX called the "ILY" series. "ILY" stood for "I Love You" and he'd email or text me one of these everyday (until they stopped! Lol). I didn't pay attention to when they actually started, how long they lasted, or when they ended. He thought they were "cute" and I suppose I did too in the VERY beginning, but nothing lasts long when you're married to a Narc!
You want to know the kicker? My NarcX LIED (wow, shocker there right?!?!) and portrayed himself as this uber romantic person who dabbled in writing prose, poetry and frankly a bunch of BULLS$@#. These poems were presented to me mostly as HIS "original" writings. As I was writing this, something told me to "Google" the first line of each one. Low & behold it popped up in the search results! It seems the Narc's "sources" were "Love Poems & Quotes" and "Poem Hunter".
ACTUAL TITLE: For My Angel Chris
Written: March 18, 2008
The day you came into my life will be cherished always.
An angel sent from heaven for my lonely heart to hold.
My heart is no longer lonely, but instead
filled with the wonder of a love like I've never known.
When you first held me, it was magical!
A touch no other but my soulmate could provide.
Truly the passion needed no words.
Your kiss on my lips is something I long for each day.
With a single kiss the intensity of your love so incredibly clear!
Your eyes melt me with emotion so intense it is beyond belief.
A caring and unconditional love that shines from them
that makes me shiver with excitement for our life to come.
Each day your smile fills my heart with a joy like no other.
Oh but to have you in my life is truly a blessing!
On the day we wed....
I promise to you yet again my unconditional love and devotion.
For I will cherish each day that God gives me with you,
our own little piece of heaven on earth.
I will love you always.
--REAL AUTHOR: Dawn Eichten
--Fake Author: CCHillJr
A Table Set For Two
Written: March 19, 2008
Candles flicker softly on a table set for two,
There's no one on the earth tonight except for me and you.
A nice romantic dinner and a bottle of chilled wine,
And we are here together in a moment stopped in time.
A love so few have ever known and this is its birth night,
Alone within our little world, you and I and candlelight.
So soon we will set free the feelings that we want to share.
And I am held here spellbound by your laughter in the air.
Thoughts of love like falling leaves,
Swirling in the autumn breeze,
Flow in our minds and in our eyes,
A tender look and longing sighs,
We touch and as the fire starts,
That we have rekindled in our hearts,
We kiss and hear the angels sing,
As heavens gift to me you bring,
No more to live my life alone,
And in your soul I found my home,
At peace within your loving arms,
Captivated by your charms,
And happily I'd die for you,
Here at this table set for two.
-- REAL Author: L. Carling
--Fake Author: CCHillJr
ACTUAL TITLE: "You're All Of This To Me"
Written: March 20, 2008
You're the thought that starts each morning,
The conclusion to each day.
You are in all that I do,
And everything I say.
You're the smile on my face,
The twinkle in my eye.
The warmth inside my heart,
The fullness in my life.
You're the hand that's laced in mine,
And the coat upon my back.
My friend, my love,
My shoulder to lean on.
You're my silly, mature, caring,
Thoughtful, bright, and honest cutie pie.
The one who holds me tightly,
When I need to cry.
You're the dimple in my cheek,
The ever-consistent tingle in my soul,
The voice that makes me weak,
The happiness of my life.
You are all I've wanted,
You are all I need.
You are all I've dreamed of,
You are all of this to me.
Whispers in the Wind
Written: March 21, 2008
Your whispers are gentle echoes,
that sway ardent winds of harmony
and in the symphony of life
each word is wrapped in rhapsody.
We travel separate roads of life
gather flowers along the way and
share the music of their fragrance.
We exist between two winds,
I here under a pale moon
you, the other end of somewhere.
Sometimes when wind blows through trees
I pause to listen and in its passing
I hear the tenderness of your voice
that fills the spectrum of my soul.
You are the chime of warm rain,
the moon that glows through the trees
and within the luster of evening
your aura fills the scene.
I hear the whispers of the wind
see the stars shine in the sky,
but I hold the sunrise in my pocket.
Dance with me within the wind,
then just let me love you.
--REAL Author: Trent Moore
--Fake Author: CCHillJr
Good...ain't he?!?! Oscar-winning performance, wouldn't you agree? Don't EVER forget those gestures for what they are really about or for the LIES that they are covering up!
Learn to LOVE YOURSELF FIRST! Or, flip that and remember "F-L-Y" => First Love Yourself!
We've spent a lot of time recently on the MOST IMPORTANT kind of L-O-V-E...#SELFLOVE! Hope you read last month's posts & enjoy our ongoing self-love/self-care tips, ideas and suggestions. I think it's far too important a topic to just talk about for one month (February = the month of "Love"), so I'm going to keep going on this topic and probably devote at least one post a month to it.
What do you to show yourself some #SELFLOVE or #SELFCARE? Let our SpunkyDiva Tribe know in the comments. We'd love to hear from you!