12 Months of Self-Care - July - Healing Tools Come In Many Forms
Since I’ve started on my healing journey, I have come across a variety of great tools and resources…especially on social media.
This month I came across an online resource called “Loving Me After We” on both Instagram and Facebook. You would have thought I struck gold when I came across it! Loving Me After We is run by a woman named Ginger Dean, a licensed psychotherapist and relationship expert. She’s literally worked with thousands of women, men and couples over the past 15 years on how to master their relationships. Her mission is to help women heal their hearts, increase confidence and SELF-LOVE after a toxic relationship so they can stop settling for the wrong men.
I’ve come to far in my healing journey since those 8 years married to a narcissist. I’ve tried the dating thing - both online/social app and “someone I know” from somewhere in my life since the divorce. I’ve had past boyfriends and other “Ex’s” come out the wood works on me these past 3-4 years. But, other than knowing without a doubt that I will NEVER get married again, I feel a little “stuck” and uncertain in my personal dating life. I feel paralyzed, frozen and terrified about making the “wrong choice” again.
I know that I have put walls up as high and as thick as I can around my heart for fear of someone hurting me, using me and taking advantage of me again. But, somewhere deep down I also know that’s no way to live life. I don’t trust myself to know what “real love” truly is or what it’s supposed to look and feel like. I don’t think I’ve ever really had a model example of that in my family. Sure, my parents were married 33 years until my dad passed away. I know he adored my mother until his dying breath. But, I still don’t feel like I saw her example…but I could be wrong. I just know there was so much dysfunction in our family.
There has been one man who pierced through all my “armor” the instant we met. Our “chemistry” gave me butterflies and made me weak at the knees. But guess what?!?! That one turned out to be a pathological liar, con artist, complete fraud and sociopath. So, what does that say about me?!?!
When I came across a post from this woman, I immediately connected with her and the content she puts out. I’ve reposted and shared to other groups and pages. I’ve encouraged other girlfriends to follow her and join her Facebook group. I was intrigued by Ginger’s “Loving Me After We Challenge” where she has videos to watch, questions to answer and “homework” to do. You have to “do the work” just like Iyanla Vanzant says on her show and books all the time.
Now, I’ll admit… I haven’t completed the Challenge. I’m actually on Unit #3. But, I do plan to finish and honestly Unit #3 and #6 are very intriguing to me. In the meantime, I’m captivated by EVERY post (both quote/picture and lengthy description) she puts out. I can relate to about 95% of them because I’ve been there…done that. Or, I’m right in the midst of going through what she’s talking about. And honestly, some even highlight areas I need to grow and do better in. She nails it every time!
The “Loving Me After Me” Challenge is made up of 7 “Units” and each one usually starts with a video and then several questions you must answer. Take a peek at the areas she covers:
Unit #1: Victim to Vixen
Unit #2: Red Flags Before the First Date
Unit #3: Healing My Inner Little Girl
Unit #4: Patterns and Parallels
Unit #5: Detoxing Your Toxic Behavior
Unit #6: Becoming the High Value Woman
Unit #7: 6 Stages of Healing After a Toxic Relationship
So, if you’ve left a toxic relationship and are on your healing journey…know that you’re NOT ALONE! We all need a little help and guidance. Sure, going to an actual therapist is nice. I’ve done it and I would encourage anyone to find a good one. But, if you want more of a “community” but still get quality advice from a licensed professional…then FOLLOW @LovingMeAfterWe on Instagram and Facebook. If you’re really ready to roll up your sleeves and “do the work”, then join her Facebook Group and take the challenge!