What Thanksgiving Means To Me
I spent most of this Thanksgiving weekend relaxing and resting from my normal daily “grind.” I have no relatives where I live and I didn’t travel to see any either. I love my Midwest family, but unfortunately we rarely see each other if I am not the one to get on a plane. That get’s “old” and costly. I wish my blood family would come see me - not be in town for something else and not always expect me to go visit them.
The “holidays” like Thanksgiving and Christmas take on a whole different meaning for me. They are not about spending time with loved ones or your biological family. They are not about “tradition” either. I am divorced with no kids, so there is no family of my own. And on this Thanksgiving, I didn’t hear from any of my own family unless I reached out to them. That is actually pretty typical. We just don’t keep in touch…thank God for Facebook & Instagram though! It’s not like the holidays were a “big thing” in my family. We were very disjointed…and dysfunctional. And, my immediate family didn’t celebrate them for religious reasons.
Over the years, my “family” has become my “tribe” of close friends. Now of course, they have their own families to spend Thanksgiving with. A few of them will ask me what I’m doing and even invite me over to dinner. I had a couple offers this year and I turned them down. I will explain why in a bit. Sometimes I do get a little sad and lonely around the holiday time. I wish I had the type of family that was closer and who kept in touch better. I miss family. It hurts and my heart aches, but I shake it off. I do my best to LIVE IN THE MOMENT and BE THANKFUL for the people & blessings I do have in my life.
I love my tribe and how they check on me. But, this year was my turn to “pay it forward”! My sorority sister from St. Louis was also not traveling. Not only are we sorority sisters, but we pledged together on the same line. I had lost touch with my line sisters for almost 30 years! I found them this past year on Facebook and this one happened to live in the same state as me. A sorority is a sisterhood, but the ones you actually pledge with is a bond like no other (or at least it should be!).
When my dinner invites didn’t extend to include her, I opted to decline them all and instead spend it with her. She’d lost two family members this past year. Did we cook for just the two of us? Absolutely NOT! We made dinner reservations!! We had a great time catching up, eating and drinking delicious wine. We had the BEST time! I typically do not like anything “pumpkin” but that pumpkin cheesecake was delicious!
I should say that I’m not mad or upset those invites didn’t extend to her. I realize that my friends didn’t know her. But, I guess I just wasn’t raised like that. In my family, we welcomed ALL - the more the merrier. We looked out for others who didn’t have what we did or in this situation who were away from home and family. So please, be cognizant of the people who are like me and my Soror. How much trouble would one more person have really been?
A Few Things I’m Most Thankful For
I am thankful to be alive - even with all my aches & pains!
I am thankful for my job - without it I might still be stuck in a toxic marriage.
I am thankful for my apartment - it is my own little sanctuary of zen & my ‘safe place.’
I am thankful for my “BFFs” - without them I wouldn’t be where I am today!
I am thankful for my close circle of sista-girlfriends - they keep my social calendar pretty busy.
I am thankful for the handful of “bruthas from another mother” in my life - they are a true testament that really good men still exist & not extinct.
I am thankful for my HopeWorks family - my volunteering with them turned into my own healing & way for me to share my story.
(Lastly) I am thankful for my new found purpose - my passion for writing & helping other women led me to create SpunkyDiva Diaries & I look forward to where this journey takes me.
I hope you enjoyed your Thanksgiving and took a moment to reflect on what you are truly thankful for in the midst of cooking or traveling.
It’s crazy to think this year is almost over. I am not ready for Christmas - let’s just say I’m in a “Bah Humbug” state of mind! I look forward to my time off of work though and am sure I’ll be writing about whatever inspires me.
Time to think about vision boards and goals for 2019!